Love Your Neighbour

It’s been mentioned ten times in the Bible about this & something that’s repeated so often must mean something. I used to have a problem with ‘loving my enemies’ because no one in their right mind can love someone they hate or strongly dislike/disapprove of. I must have been one sad person in the past because I had many enemies. Not those who would draw their swords & daggers on you, but those whom I’ve regrettably offended & hurt in my in-your-face statements. I may have been right at that time but it doesn’t excuse me from the wrong of destroying another person’s dignity, pride & personality. Loving my neighbour was easy, or so I thought….

B. had been my mentor & big brother-figure since I was 17 years old. He is 9 years my senior. He taught me things in business & the working world when nobody could be bothered. He also taught me about humanity & goodness. B. & his childhood friends were great pals who loved animals. There was a time when he & his best friend, M., had to ‘Jus’ (a challenge of hand signals) to determine who’s car to use to carry a maggot-infested wounded stray dog to the vet. 15 years on & they still have the dog. M. is now a successful entrepreneur yet he still managed to answer my calls of distress when we had to rescue a puppy in the monsoon drain in Subang Jaya where I had to abseil down the high walls to reach the site. Forty five minutes into the rescue & running 1 kilometre inside the drain later, the puppy was caught & was brought to a happier place.

Knowing that we stood for a common cause gave me a lot of assurance in our friendship. When boyfriends are no longer there for me, they were. In fact, everyone I dated had to have the ‘seal of approval’ & they would make it known to me if they didn’t make the mark. They didn’t want me to get hurt by philandering lovers, promiscuous partners & such. There was a time when all B. heard from me was my heartache over boyfriend problems. In fact, there were three relationships in which I made B. my shoulder to cry on. For hours. To me, my problem seemed so great then. I had always thought that if I went to a mentor with my problems, he would be able to make me feel better. I didn’t want a solution, I wanted NOT to feel bad. His philosophies had lifted me beyond my heartaches & many a time, I would end the conversation in awe. He was my Bandaraya (town council’s rubbish collector). I grew up knowing a brother whom I never had. I never looked up to anyone this much. My dad loved him too.

For a person of his stature, he’s already got it made, with an apartment at Bangsar, properties everywhere, a Mercedes Sports car among his other vehicles, a business with over a hundred employees, a life of revelry, women, fine wine & dining & charity work. What more could he want? He’s so giving & thoughtful that he doesn’t miss anyone’s birthday. All the while I thought he had a fantastic lifestyle. Then it came crashing down. His made wrong business decisions. He was in debt. He sold his properties including the apartment that he was dwelling in & all the furniture & appliances therein. He even had to sell all his clothes. He was hitting rock bottom & there was nothing I could do. He had to move into the place I shared with my girlfriend, who happens to be the girl he was going out with, for several months before he & his girlfriend rented a place of their own. For once, the tables were turned. He was way into depression & was on prescription at the time. As I spoke to him, I realised something I had missed all these years. As much as he had been my shoulder to cry on all these years, I haven’t been a single ounce of help to him at all. I was always the victim of circumstances & not wanting to take responsibility for my actions. In short, I was not tackling my problems at all because it became a vicious cycle that B. had to point out many times. I was so overwhelmed by my own preoccupation that I’d missed the opportunity to be a friend to the person who meant so much to me. Then I also realised that I didn’t know him at all. There were so many things that he did that could never be out in the open & is now suffering the consequences. Things that shocked me beyond believe & I didn’t know what to say or do. His debts ran into millions to the point I questioned his morality. Although I was appalled at the things that he did, I still wanted to help him. There was nothing I can do to help apart from pray. He may have done wrong lawfully, but by harping at the problem of how he could have done this & that instead is POINTLESS. He needed to come to come to terms with God to seek for an answer that no man would be able to give.

I just had to love the sinner, not his sins.

For the first time, loving my neighbour was tested. I thought, how would I be able to love him as myself? He did so much that I despised. When I was down, he didn’t judge me nor shun me. How do I begin to offer support so that he wouldn’t slip further into depression that I would lose the only mentor to me? So I thought of being in his shoes & what he’d enjoy. I cooked them dinner! I made him feel accepted & let him know that I was praying for his situation. I ran his errands for him since both he & his girlfriend had to work long hours in the day to make another business work to pay off the debts. I basically did whatever I could to alleviate his problem. How did I manage to accept a person whom I so look up to, a person who’s ever ready to offer a hand in my problems, a person who embodied strength, confidence & humility(in some ways), a person with wisdom & knowledge of the world who fell from grace??? I extended the grace that I received from God to encompass him & his wrongdoings. I accepted humanity. He did that for me once upon a time. That’s what I learnt from B., who was put in my path to teach me things that I would put into practice one day. He made me see what Jesus came to die for. You & me.

“….and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” This is the first commandment. (Mark 12:30)

And the second is like this: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:31)

And the scribe said to Him, Right, Teacher, according to truth You have spoken, that God is one, and there is no other besides Him. (Mark 12:32)

And to love Him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love the neighbour as himself, is more than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices. (Mark 12:33)