I’m more alive than ever. I’ve made several trips abroad since January & have been taking care of work assignments without realising how time flies. Having tons of pictures to process when I got back, I couldn’t put my thoughts to words because a flurry of events had taken place & they needed more attention than this blog. Whenever anything concerns the welfare of a human being, I put my work below the importance of a soul. I certainly do not think blogging is work or work is my blog but I’ve been given several appointments that require immediate attention like how everyone wants things done……..by yesterday, so I had to deliver.
I wore new clothes on the first day of Chinese New Year & spent my whole afternoon with Freda laughing at all the challenges we have had to live with. My neighbour has about 8 people, maybe more, living in their house & with the increase in numbers, there’s always noise. We talked about handling enemies like what I had been taught how to when I wrote about it here. I’m having to deal with clamming up, being unable to express myself as the need of privacy in my life grows deeper. I have lost patience with people probing into my life when I don’t want to share, with people who ask me out for no apparent reason but to get to know me & people who try to waste my time in thinking that I have nothing better to do than to be of service them. I’ve stopped talking because I cherish my space so much. They are not bad people before you think that I’m insinuating. It’s just that I can’t understand why people can’t respect my space. The longest letters I’ve written are letters to Chien, my late best friend. I call them letters even though it reaches him at the instant that I press the send button because he was a great communicator & he valued my space & privacy. We connected as soul mates who knew what each other was doing even when we lived in different states. We didn’t have to report to one another but because he was in tune with my life as much as he shared a great part of his with me. I find it ever so difficult to connect with others now that he’s not here any more. Friends of mine with the greatest of good intentions have been trying to fill this void & have somewhat succeeded in part, never in whole. I wish they would remain as they are & not try to be a Chien to me. I value each one of them dearly & if they do anything that probes into my privacy, I will back away. It’s creepy to have someone track you on everything that you do. There’s a time & place for everything.
Those who are in my acquaintance list are the most worrying when you know they are out to hunt for a Miss Right. They go through a list of people whom they want to get to know better, ask for recommendations/introductions only to return to you to ask you out. What makes them think I’m interested to be with them in the first place? I already have such limited time for myself & my deserving friends, I cannot spare a minute for mindless chatter or small talk just so that they can ‘get to know me better.’ Going out is an effort. Time is costly. Every mindless minute I spend with anyone is minutes that I can never get back. What I do must count for the betterment of both parties. I don’t remember having this barrier before but I had to put it up to prevent myself from wasting other people’s time. Thank you for considering me even after having gone through your list of impossibles. Now you can add me to that list too. 🙂
I’ve been stealing time off to the jungle to capture my prized treasures & I’ll leave you with this Striped Throated Bulbul that had just gotten fed on a fig tree & was ready for a siesta. While I process pictures from my India trip, do checkout my Flickr for more photo updates. I hope this Chinese New Year would bring you much happiness & joy that prosperity cannot buy & may you be blessed with much more! Blessed Chinese New Year!
