Contagious Cupidry

There was a time when we used to snigger at those bachelors whose mothers had to hire the services of a match-maker upon coming of age. The mui-yan (cupid) had the task of finding the right candidate for the client & would prey upon matriachs who would insist that her sometimes-over-aged child be match-made on her terms. The screening process would actually involve the match-maker doing some background checking, often with the help of tale-tattlers, to find the so-called suitable candidate.

In my days of growing up, I used to believe in the happy ever after stories I read in books to the point that I would fantasise about being a Cinderella who was enslaved or Beauty meeting a charming beast who would defy all logic to turn into a handsome human being, the fussed princess who could feel a stupid pea beneath the ton of Slumberland, and Snow White with her entourage of little men only to discover the political incorrectness of these tales later in life. I’ve had my fair share of meeting princes only to see them turn into frogs or better still, become the Snow Whack to covet 7 other little women….

Then J.T., a church friend, took a serious interest in my affairs by telling me all about this doctor friend of his who’s a great guy of the same faith & who doesn’t womanise (oh, do these kind of men exist?). Coming from a guy, I thought it was rather significant (that he ”˜thinks’ he doesn’t womanise). My first reaction to this was, how on earth can I accept being match-made? I enjoyed J.T.’s company & didn’t really see it necessary to marry the guy he mentioned, so I went along, more for being curious to see who this man J.T. described. Our meeting was an instantaneous hit off, progressing into a makan session with this doctor who had a major interest in health & nutrition. He was giving me all these tips to eating right & keeping fit. Then he did the most remarkable thing I thought was so funny, he starred into my face, gasped, stroked to feel it, then handed me two bottles of miracle cure-all made of some sheep placental extract. I must have laughed so hard that he never called me again. 😀

Having failed in his attempt of pairing me with an eligible & wealthy doctor, J.T. was bent on marrying me off. I found out that this was how he met his wife too. It explains why he believed in cupidry. He then got his ex college mate so excited about meeting me so he kind of packaged me as a fun loving girl who’s got an obsession for the sea. Chris was an absolutely far out guy who loved reptiles. He would go into detail of how he feeds squeaking frogs to his baby monitor lizard pet…..Apart from this queerness, he was actually a very nice & caring guy who loved to sing at karaokes. I told him that I wasn’t keen on relationships as yet & he immediately turned into a concerned brotherly figure.

Weeks followed & Chris sends me encouraging SMSes as he goes about to search for his true love with beauty to boot. Then he got the bug & as if I was a commodity, he begged me to put on war paint & meet his ever so single, boss. I told him that I had to be in the mood to paint my face & especially when it’s so late, I have no desire to look good even for Hugh Jackman.

Tan turned out to be a good looking, decent chap whom you would take home to meet your parents but we had diverse interest. Again, the chemistry of good friends rubbed on & the talk became rife that he too, would set me up with yet another so-called charming bloke whom he thought would sweep me off my feet……