I woke up with these words in my mind & I realised that the Holy Spirit was leading me into a prayer. I grabbed my little note book where I jot down thoughts & revelations as the words flowed non-stop……..I began to sob:-
Dear Lord,
Help me understand that anyone who rejects me is because they are rejecting You. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m preaching all the time, I make no apology for Whom I believe in. It’s actually a reminder to me that I’ve got to walk the talk. If I admire someone, I talk about him; if I like someone, I spend time getting to know that person; if I love someone, I would proclaim passionately that my heart & soul belongs to him. I wasn’t trying to shove religion down people’s throat. I wanted to show them the work You did in me though the world doesn’t see you the way I do. They don’t hear You the way I do. They don’t experience You the way I do. I’m sorry that I’ve failed in being more like you, please don’t let me stop trying.
I’ve become a repellent to the people around me in my pursuit to love & understand them. You send me birds & butterflies to make me happy because my heart would flutter when I see something I haven’t seen before. Your love for me knows no boundaries & to be in Your presence is truly a delight & honour. In the midst of my debut in a major production where You wrote 1000 names in the Book of Life, you sent me herrons in a V-flight formation right over my head & told me that You are the wind beneath my wings.
Sometimes I know my prayers have not reached You because I have been harbouring resentment in my heart for those who harmed me. You were grieved because I was sinning against You but Your revelation caused me to turn from my sins & return to You like the prodigal son. Each step of the way, You carried me & gently urged me to press on even though it was too painful for me to live when people drove stakes through my heart that beats for them.
In times where I rebelled in seeking out my own fame & fortune, You welcomed me home with open arms & told me that my treasure is in a place where no one would be able to rob me. You reminded me of my spiritual heritage, a place that’s prepared for me when I walk in obedience to You. Men may have robbed me of my possessions, my esteem, my heart & my youth but I’m still standing because You built me up & delivered me. When I hear hostility in their voices, I know that I have found no favour in them. When conversations turn to strife, I know it’s time for me to go.
I live for a time & a season in people’s lives whom You have placed me to meet. I’ve placed my destiny in You & my life is in Your hands. Where You lead me, I will go. If those who knew me & yet know me not, begin to perceive me in a different light, I ask that You shine on them & love them because I failed to show Your love & purpose. Teach me to release them to You so that You can heal & restore things that I have torn into pieces which I could never put together again without You. Show me where I’ve gone wrong that I may never repeat those errors again. As much as it hurts to know rejection, You reassured me & told me that in my weakness is where You are strong. Teach me to surrender to You to work in the hearts which are hardened, what I can’t do in 10 years, You do in a day. I’m not hearing because I’m deafened by my own devices which served as a stumbling block to my worship. If You have to uproot me to let me hear You again, then send me. If I’m only the last option & not the first choice of people, teach me how to accept it & find my worth in You. I may not be a pleaser of men but I want to be pleasing in Your eyes. May others forgive me if I’ve said things to run them down. I know I have not meant it that way but offences come in many forms. Teach me how to make amends.
When the devil caused the people I love to despise me, I know I can come to your feet & cry because……….
a heart-wrenching prayer for some.. either guilt or endless streams of provocation run down the spines of some, and for me it’s both.
it’s been awhile since i’ve had such an honest chat, and truly listening to what the Lord has to say to me, my ipod a chief criminal too.
at a time when the central agenda of the world is the difficulties of the life Muslims all over the world, and especially teenage ones and the prejudice they face where everyone of them can be considered as a terrorist, I pray your prayer encourages and sets an example for us not to back down from confronting the reality of Christian living in these times.
i have always ran away from unpleasant aand painful situations hoping they will be dealt with somehow by God. Right now i pray that others will follow suit to be encouraged by your steadfast love and devotion, and that song you’ve put in that last paragraph, especially me.
Thanks for everything Pummkin. and do not get discouraged yourself! If we all place our trust in Him, all is possible is it not?