Zen’s Personal Experience

On the other side of the world as it spins, lives a family so close to my heart that it’s almost like yesterday that I held my nieces in my arms. Kristianna was 5 & Zen (Kaylin) was only 3. I haven’t met the third, Kylie but I sure hope to one day. I love them to bits & I remember buying all the kiddie clothes to dress them up so that they would look the cutest & prettiest.

When my dad left us, I didn’t know it affected the little ones as much as it did. Zen wrote a speech for her school’s speech & debate class. I hope she doesn’t mind that I share it here because it warms me to know that my dad was also a granddad to her. Zen is 12 now. Has just won three awards at school, 6th Grade Language Art Award, 6th Grade Art Award & Straight A’s Award. Your Sam Yee is mighty proud of you.


Personal Experience Speech
by Kaylin Chan

How many of you have ever lost a loved one? Yes, many of us have. Hurts doesn’t it? I can really relate to you guys, since that is what I am here to talk to you about today. This is my personal experience.

I was perfectly content and completely ignorant of what was happening at that moment. As a third-grader, how much could I know? So happy, cheerful. I was looking forward to my VBS the next day, Vacation Bible School. There was something deep within me that whispered in my heart. A conscience. Warning voice. What was it? I couldn’t understand what could possibly have been going wrong. Everything was great! Dismissing it, I tucked myself into bed.

But the next morning, it hit me. I figured out what had happened. And it really hurt. A wail arose from downstairs. At first, I thought that my mom was going hysterical laughing, but that definitely wasn’t it. The earsplitting noise that awoke me was not that of joy, but filled with sorrow. Then I knew. My heart felt as if it had just been frozen overnight. Numbness. Unaware of my surroundings, dizzy. Tears of pain streamed down my face. Why did this happen to me? What did I ever do? What did Grandpa ever do? Why did he have to leave us now? How come he wasn’t healed? A million questions flooded my mind as the tears refused to leave. I knew that bad things happen to good people, but why was it so hard to just let go? I ached so badly for him, wanting my only grandfather left back. He was the only grandpa that I had actually known. And now he was gone. Searing grief burned a hole inside of me. There wasn’t much that I could’ve done, with my grandpa in Malaysia – the other side of the world. But why did I feel so responsible for his death? I couldn’t understand, could not comprehend. It was all so confusing to me, too much to take in.

Amidst all of this, right there in the presence of death, awaited something beautiful. Something special. Clothed in pure white, majestic. It was just standing there, amongst all the terrible things that were happening. Can you guess what it was? Peace. Peace at heart knowing that he was in heaven. Peace of knowing that my granddad was without suffering and illness, for he was one hundred percent healed. Through this loss, I could still feel its company.

I knew at that moment I would see him again. The time it takes to get there is not of significance to me, just the affirmation in knowing. That one day, we will meet.

Yes, indeed, we will meet again one day. And I’m still waiting for Kristianna’s pictures of her 9th Grade Art Award. My mighty talented first niece!

5 Responses

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *